If you had asked our fathers when they were young the type of wife they’d love to marry, the first thing they’d say is that they want a good Christian/Muslim girl whose homely, beautiful, has the fear of God in her heart, knows how to cook and all that stuff our fathers were attracted to. Well, that was in the 80s and 90s. This is a new millennium and the paradigm has shifted.

Men don’t want all these goody two shoes women anymore, they want a woman who knows when to be good and bad at the same time. I remember in Kaduna when I served during my NYSC, I’d see Hausa couples outside their houses smoking weed and downing a pot of shisha (well, because Muslims don’t drink). And I come from a home where my dad would get back from work and bring home a bottle of wine and he and my mum would both sip on it while talking about work and gossip about their bosses and complain about how troublesome I am.

I saw a post on twitter where a guy said that any man who allows his woman smoke or drink doesn’t plan to marry her. I’ve heard a lot of crap in my life but that has to be in my top ten crappiest things I’ve ever heard. That dude still lives in the 80s where when a woman drinks or smoke people look down on them. Also, I have a problem with the word ‘Allow’, which one is If a man ALLOWS his woman drink or smoke. You don’t own her. Even if you pay her bride price and marry her, you still don’t own her. You can Allow your kids do stuff because you own them. As guys, we need to stop setting unrealistic standards for the ladies (because it’s ladies who set unrealistic standards. I cant date a man who doesn’t own blablabla.. I can’t marry a man below 75 ft, etc) and we need to be real and get with the times. Drinking and smoking isn’t a sin, is it harmful when overdone.. yes.. but is it a sin. Nope

While personally, I won’t lean towards a woman who smokes because I don’t, I won’t open my mouth to say that a woman who smokes isn’t wife material. But, a woman who smokes Shisha and regularly posts it on social media isn’t wife material.

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